Lists

The past month has found me drowning in lists of things to do. Mental lists and paper lists, it seems I've been just swimming in details.

List of things to do at work before holiday shutdown
List of things to do for work during holiday shutdown
List of Christmas gifts to buy and wrap
List of Christmas goodies to make
List of groceries to buy in order to make Christmas goodies
List of things to do over holiday shutdown (personal appts as well as yes, some recreation)
List of things to do for Tony Co (aka CompuLogic) before year-end
List of doctor appointments to schedule for January
List of things to do at work the first three weeks in January (closing out 2005, getting 2006 up and running, preparing for my leave of absence)
List of people I want to email - some I get around to, but too many I don't

Some of the lists are now completed, while others remain outstanding. As I work my way through them, I do feel the weight of all the details lessening a little; things start to come into sharper focus as the flow of To Do's subsides a little.

Luckily, it seems that one event has escaped the whirlwind detail frenzy that has been consuming me lately. New Year's Eve is tomorrow and Tony and I are planning our traditional New Year's Extravaganza(!!). Somehow, things are falling into place nicely without me sweating any of the details. I'm glad for this, as the last thing I need right now is another list. Maybe New Year's is going to be the oasis in the middle of these two chaotic months for me. I can definitely handle that!

Have a Happy New Year!!
:-)

Perfect Timing!

My Chocolate-Covered Caramel Corn arrived today!!!!!

:-)

(reference previous post "Chocolate-Covered Caramel Corn", 11/8/05)

D-Day 2006

Okay, not D-Day, more like HVR Day. I've scheduled my heart valve replacement for Monday, January 23. Bright and early - gotta be there at 5:45 and then surgery at 7:30. Tony's not going to like having to get up so early - that's the sort of thing which could really throw his day off. ;-)

Glad I don't have to stay over in the hospital the night before (creepy!) but it seems odd to go into this "cold" without the overnight monitoring (or whatever they'd be doing to me if I were there).

The doctors and staff all seem so casual about open heart surgery... like it's no big deal. Which, to them, it really isn't; they're professionals, this is what they do, and they know that the risks to the patient are low. I'm glad for this confidence, and it doesn't come off as arrogant at all, purely self-assurance in what they do. Which gives me peace of mind to put myself in their hands.

However, I did get the feeling that I was scheduling to take my car in for service -- "Drop her off first thing Monday morning, leave her with us a few days, we'll have her up and running and back on the road by Friday".

Alcohol + Surgery = ????

Two scenarios:

1 - Tony is NOT allowed to be at the bar while I'm in surgery. That's just a non-negotiable, no matter how much he begs.

2 - I will be on blood thinners (aka - no alcohol consumption) for three months after surgery.
Let's see.... surgery late-January, three months will take me to February, March, April....

Mark your calendars now for Cinco de Mayo - 2006!!
Better show up early; once I'm out of the gate, there's no telling how long I'll last.

Alas, my poor heart

I've always had a heart murmur. By definition, my congenital heart defects were present at birth. Chronologically, in order of correction: holes in my heart as a newborn, coarctation (narrowing) of the aorta as a pre-teen, and now stenotic (narrowed) aortic valve. As one of my aunts lovingly described me at a gathering this summer "She was born all messed up." Thanks, Aunt _____, I'm taking that with a grain of salt. ;-)

However, I've been lucky never to have experienced a moment of symptoms or limitations as a result. The holes in my heart at birth corrected themselves (I guess this condition isn't entirely uncommon in newborns and most often the heart can heal itself as it continues to develop in early infancy). The two more permanent defects are related to my aorta and aortic valve.

The aorta is the main artery leaving the heart and feeding the entire body (with oxygen-rich blood straight from the lungs). The aortic valve is the gateway from the left ventricle to the aorta. My narrowed aorta was repaired when I was 12; my aortic valve will be replaced next month. Apparently, these two defects often travel as a couple, which makes sense - they're both in the same general area and if that part of the heart hasn't developed properly it stands to reason they'll both be affected. I was comforted to see that the treatment I've been receiving seems pretty textbook (aorta repaired pre-teen and valve replaced later in adulthood).

Back to the murmur.... I've always known I had a heart murmur, but it wasn't until .. oh, about a year and a half ago, that I really and truly understood the uniqueness of my heartbeat (resulting from my defective valve). At my annual OB/GYN appt (of all places!) last year, I finally heard a side-by-side comparison of my heartbeat and a "normal" heartbeat. Wow! That was an eye-opener!

If a normal heartbeat is ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump, then mine would be more like ba-swoosh ba-swoosh ba-swoosh. Definitely not "normal"!

Well, after the dust from my doctor/surgeon appts this summer settled, and a course of action (valve replacement) was planned, it dawned on me that my heartbeat will be altered as a result. How weird to think of something so elemental to your existence as being changed! Not wanting to miss out on what was happening to my body, I went out and dropped a few bucks and picked myself up a shiny new stethoscope.

Now I (and anyone else with an interest or curiosity) can hear my heartbeat any old time. And then next year listen again and see how it's changed. [enter pig valve oink/squeal joke here]

mmm....Flannels!

I love my flannel sheets!! My husband isn't too crazy about them (he's basically a human furnace, though, so the added warmth isn't welcomed by him). I tend to run a little warm myself but crawling into a cold bed is just not fun. And I do love cozying down under all the covers in the winter.

I'm taking advantage of this week by putting the flannels on the bed. Hey, what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

I love my flannel sheets!!

Bread and water, again?

Thinking ahead to my up-coming stint at St Joe's, do you think they let patients register at the hospital gift shop?

Yesterday I was admiring some of the goodies in the Oakwood Hospital gift shop window (we were visiting Tony's grandma -- she'll be okay, just had some nasty side effects to being taken off her blood pressure medication cold-turkey). As we passed the gift shop window, several things caught my eye - the oversized teddy bear dressed for the holidays, the snack basket (complete with a can of Pringles and a box of Whopper's), along with all the usual hospital gift shop staples (flowers, cards, stuffed animals, etc).

I'm not sure if registering is the way to go, but I expect I'll be extremely appreciative of any edible contraband smuggled in via family and friends as they visit me (once I'm allowed "solids" of course). I'm sure I'll be limited to standard hospital fare while at St Joe's (although I hear hospital cuisine has been making major advancements in the past few years). Double whammy to me, I'll be recuperating in a cardiac care unit so I'm sure I'll be facing more than my fair share of sugar-free, sodium-free, caffeine-free whatever.

Not like I'll feel up for any gourmet multi-course meals those first few post-surgical days, however. But the occasional curly fry, or bite of a roast beef sandwich (complete with Arby's AND Horsey sauces, of course) might just lift my spirits more than low-sodium chicken broth with a sugar-free clear jello chaser.

Indulgence

I've been indulging myself lately. Food, drink, the mall.... I'm diving into all the classic vices. It's the perfect season for it though. Hey, I'm a little stressed, so I'm cutting loose a little and allowing myself to get away with it guilt-free.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thinking about my upcoming surgery, but it's not like I'm burdened with worry. And face it, this is a normally stressful time of year for anyone. Why fight the urge to spoil myself? I figure I'll ride it out, make myself happy, and worry about "being good" next year.

In the meantime I say "eat, drink, and be merry"!

Holiday Season

The holiday season is upon us!! The last couple months have flown by so friggin' fast, I just can't believe it. I know I say that every year (along with everyone else), but man, this year it was record speed!

I really have an itch for Christmas this year; I've even started a little Christmas shopping! Pretty impressive when you consider I usually wait until at LEAST the late teens of December before I venture out, then it becomes a chaotic, unenjoyable race against time. However, the record should clearly show that I have not, repeat have NOT, listened to a single Christmas carol yet -- once I pay Turkey Day it's due respect, then I move my attention fully onto Christmas, but not a moment sooner.

I have this week off from work (pretty much a tradition now); and as luck would have it, Tony's work schedule has him at home (working part-time from home) this week, too. Yes, there's a "Honey Do" list of holiday-prep for the next few days (getting ready to host the big meal on Thursday), but also plenty of time to relax and enjoy being home (watching movies, sleeping in, etc). It's also on the agenda (hopefully today) to venture to a theater and see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Happy Thanksgiving!

'Tis but a scratch!*

Much to my husband's disappointment, I've never been one to show a lot of cleavage. Not a prudish decision, just hasn't been my style. I've got the goods, I just haven't been one to flaunt them. Lately however, I find I'm seeking out tops with slightly more daring necklines; nothing flashy or inappropriate, just a little more oomph. Wearing softer necklines does make me feel more feminine, and if a little extra attention or appreciation is generated by them, I don't hate that.

I suppose it could be seen as pathetic or needy (vain, actually) of me, but sporting my future surgical scar is the part of my valve replacement I'm least looking forward to. Okay, the part about them stopping my heart isn't my favorite either. But I have full faith in the doctors to get the old pumper working again on cue. The scar, however, will be with me the rest of my life. A small price to pay when you consider the alternative, but still.

I guess altering my style of dress is a pre-emptive strike against any insecurities I'll feel about the scar. I'm not going to wear turtlenecks every day for the rest of my life, which means the scar WILL be partially visible on a regular basis no matter what I choose to wear. I don't want to gross anyone out (me in particular) but I don't want to feel I have to hide it either.

All things considered, there are much, much worse conditions people live with every day. I'll try not to let a little scratch turn into a chip on my shoulder. Plus, sporting a visible war wound could be an ice-breaking conversation starter!

* Black Knight, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975.

I've got a good husband

Flowers were delivered to me at my desk today at work. Just because, from the husband. He's alright.

Thanks, Tony.

:-)

Chocolate-Covered Caramel Corn

I LOVE chocolate-covered caramel corn!! A couple years ago, a boy scout fundraiser table by the checkouts at Kroger helped me to discover this fact. What the heck I'll buy some, it's for a good cause and it sure sounds like it'd be tasty enough ... Man, was it!!!

Unfortunately, I haven't had any luck in locating a fix outside of fundraisers. Recently I was able to satisfy my craving by picking up a couple of tubs from a co-worker (her daughter's fundraiser). Two tubs figuring I'd eat one right away and "save" the other one for later. Apparently two days later was "later" enough for me. (I'm weak what can I say)

Just now I saw another flier in the cafeteria. Whoo hooo!! More chocolate-covered caramel corn! Gotta love those fundraisers. What the heck, it's for a good cause.
:-)

Climbing out of my slump

I've been in a physical and emotional slump for a couple weeks and I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe the time change, lack of physical exercise (yes, I've been sluffing off), just wanting to be into the recovery phase of my valve replacement so I don't have to think about it anymore (I think Tony would agree with this one). I've been tired the past couple weeks and start to think too much about whether I feel okay - am I feeling symptoms or am I just out of shape? Smart money's on the latter. But I'm happy to announce that I think yesterday was rock bottom of the funk and I'm starting to surface.

Heather came over last night and we worked out. Yes, the walk was pretty lame as I was nowhere near wanting to jog for too long (nor able to) but she really kicked my ass when we got downstairs working with our fitness balls. I am continuously amazed that she can show up each week with several new moves to show me -- but I guess that's why she's a great personal trainer. Although, there are times I start to wonder if she's really just trying to kill me. *evil sneer* (I'm not the most graceful person and balancing on that ball can be a challenge) but I pull through and am able to come out the other side of the workout. Bless her heart for not giving up on me. :-)

Opening Night

Yesterday was the Pistons home opener at the Palace; Tony and I were lucky enough to be in attendence along with a couple of friends. Nice dinner at Monterrey Cantina in Royal Oak, then off to the game.

Tony and I both landed our "first 10,000 attendees" Ben Wallace figurines. Ah, Ben... *blush*

Is it my imagination, or is the figure the spitting image of Rip Hamilton just with more hair? (No, you can't tell from the pic) Either way, the "Ben" figurine makes a nice counterpart to my Chauncey bobblehead.

Donor Tryouts

I've shared this picture with family and friends, but I definitely think it's worthy of posting here, too (the piggies are just too cute).

In an effort to do the little guy's (or girl's) contribution justice, I'm working with a personal trainer to try to get myself in shape. The piggy will be making the ultimate sacrifice on my behalf and I want to make the most of it.

The more I work out, though, the more convinced I am that all this (exercise) will be easier for me after I have my valve replaced. If my current valve is only opening about 1/3 as far as it should to allow blood to circulate to my entire body, it stands to reason that a new valve will make everything so much easier for me. Since this is the only condition I've ever known and have no other frame of reference for my physical potential, I'm excited to see what life will be like after the surgery (and how much easier - *fingers crossed* - everything will be).

Twelve Weeks and Counting

The clock's a-tickin'and the countdown continues. Looks like January 23, 2006 (or the week of anyway) will be the big day for me. And a not-so-big day for the poor little piggy. Of course, he might already have made his contribution - is it weird that I really want to find out where and how the little guys are raised when their destiny is medical science (ie supplying me with a fresh new heart valve)?

Over the next couple weeks I'm going to call the surgeon's office at St Joe's and start making the necessary appointments. I've got to work in one more office visit with my cardiologist, too, before I go for the full physical exam, chest x-ray, blood work, and final surgical consultation prior to the actual Big Event (likely all this will happen in January). Also I need to work with the Red Cross to start banking some blood (shouldn't need it, but it'll be nice to have just in case).

First Ever Blog

I have started a blog! Or maybe I have started blogging. I'm not sure if "blog" is a noun or a verb. Let's just assume it's both.
:-)